Good-bye (for now)

Hi... Blog will be closed for a few more days... something very important is coming up which needs my undivided attention (I am not referring to HomeComing at TAPMI) ... but I wil be back.

Adios... take care... and miss moi.

Dhamaal

Watching Bollywood movies these days is like being with men... you have to keep your expectations to the minimum to enjoy them... anything higher and you will be sorely disappointed.

This time I wanted to do it right... gathered feedback from people, browsed the net for reviews... and when everything seemed favourable... I set out with AP and Bacha for the movie.

The very first scene is a rip-off from Johnny English and Mr. Bean. The jokes are worse than AP and Bacha's PJs. Such good actors (Ritesh, Arshad, Javed, Sanjay... Ashish does not qualify as an actor) have been reduced to bumbling idiots. AP and I could not stop laughing 'coz we didn't have tears to cry. After a lot of cajoling, threatening, begging, pleading the guys agreed to walk out mid-way.

Please avoid if you have a "good" sense of humor... To all the people who liked the movie: "Please get a life... take mine if you want"

Please note: The kids were howling with laughter.. they loved the movie which freaked me out even more. Imagine sitting through all the bad movies in the theatre 'coz of your kids... Now THATS what I call "sacrifice".

Tattoo-ed

Have you always wanted to get that tattoo... but didn't know how??? Rest assured... here is a step-by-step guide. And what makes me an expert on the topic??? I just got a permanent tattoo... a colorful butterfly below my collar-bone.


Step 1: Deciding about the tattoo

There are various reasons for getting a tattoo... none of them logical. Why would anyone prick themselves with needles for a mark that will remain permanent? Doesn't make sense, right? It is not supposed to... people get tattoos on whims and fancies. If you want a tattoo and are weighing the pros and cons, there is no way you will get one.

I have wanted a tattoo since I spotted a ramp model on TV (she had a colorful butterfly tattoo on her collar-bone) and recently the urge just got stronger.


Step 2: Finding a tattoo parlour

Ideally, deciding the design should be the 2nd step... but most tattoo parlours don't make customised designs... so, always choose a parlour where there are ample designs. I got the tattoo at "Funky Monkey" in DT mall @ Gurgaon. I think it has branches in Delhi and Mumbai too. The guys there have 1000s of designs and photos of tattoos (you get an idea of what a tattoo will look like in a particular part of the body).

Some things you should ask the parlour:

• what kind of ink is used (it should be vegetable ink sourced from Japan/France)


• is the needle dispoable (using the same needle on different people aids spread of HIV virus)


• is there privacy (you do not want people to watch while you are getting the tattoo)


• cost (depends on size... a 5 inch tattoo will cost around 7000 bucks or more... something smaller will be around 4000 bucks...).

Step 3: Design

This is the tricky part... deciding the design and the body part where you want to get it done. Tattoos are permanent... they can be removed only by plastic surgery. Get a tattoo such that it can be concealed quite well. You don't want the whole world (specially your office guys) to see it.. right? Let it peek out just a little from your clothes to create an air of mystery and yet not reveal it all.



Step 4: Does it hurt?

Yes... it does. I must have asked Sid (the tattoo guy) this question atleast 10 times... and yes, I was freaked out. AP got a tattoo on his arm and it didn't hurt too much... 'coz the skin there is thick. If you get one on your back or collar bone it hurts more.

How much does it hurt? In Sid's words; "It hurts as much as waxing".... Imagine a needle moving on your body... thats how much it hurts. But you get used to the pain after 5 mins. I suggest don't go alone... incase it gets really bad, someone can hold your hand.


Step 5: Its not over yet...

If you thought the worst is over.... think again. The tattoo is like a wound... it has to heal which takes around 10-15 days. For 10 days, you cannot apply soap on the tattoo (bath times have become such a chore, I have halved their frequency). It will hurt on and off for first 5 days... white petroleum jelly needs to be applied every few hours. In the next 5 days, the peeling of tattoo begins which itches. I am still at this stage. The tattoo guy will not give you all this info until the tattoo is done.


Step 6: Yenjoy

The tattoo is done and it looks gr8... One thing I am sure about, if you survive one tattoo you will definitely go for another one... As for me, I have already decided where I am getting the 2nd one.



PS: Had planned to put up photos of my tattoo but decided against it... it is meant for the eyes of the select few.

PPS: If you have queries, mail me... lets see if I can help

A rare, beautiful & welcome sight

Rains at Gurgaon

From my window

The dark, deep woods

From the window


Darkness within


Blink... blink

Bacha in a contemplative mood: "How will I walk from the bus to the guest house in this rain?"

Camouflage

Dreams, telepathy, instinct, destiny

Beware: Below comes a discussion as philosophical and intellectual as it can get

At 8:00 am... Me pulling Bacha's leg for not thinking clearly in his sleep.
Bacha: You mean to say you think logically and practically even in your sleep?
Me: Of course....
Bacha: Aren't there any fantasies in your dreams?
Me: Nope... not much
Bacha: I sympathise with you
Me: You shouldn't

And thats as philosophical as it can get between us... rest of the discussions revolve around "Who is dumber... you or me" (No, no... we ain't competing for the 'Dumb' title, we are competing for the 'Smart' title)

Dreams are such beautiful gifts to us. It is easy to obtain tangible things. I can get a job, save up and buy the tangible.
How do you get the intangible things? Thats where dreams come in.
I dreamt something last night... there were unanswered questions in my mind... I had given up on them. I found the answers in my dream and I feel damn nice now. Maybe it was just a dream... but something is always better than absolutely nothing.

Dreams are born from the subconscious. Our dreams are an indicator of the state of our mind... Some of us are great at burying our fears, tears, pains, loneliness... even happiness. Dreams reveal all of these and much more.

I am a strong believer in telepathy, destiny, instinct. If there is someone I am missing too much, I usually get a call/mail/sms or some sign that the other person has been thinking about me. If I have a bad dream about someone, I realise that he/she is going through a rough patch... and I usually make decisions on an impulse and never ever regret them.
As for destiny... there is a higher power above which has a plan for each one of us. It depends on the path we choose. For example, if I had decided to join any other B-school life would have taken a different turn... and it would have been part of the plan.

Aah... life is good... for now (touch wood).

Reason for high prices at Ruby Tuesday

After eating dal-chawal (literally) everyday for more than a week (all) 5 of us decided to go out for dinner and maybe a movie or drinks or bowling. We had innumerable GDs, phone calls, chats and narrowed down to "Ruby Tuesday", a restaurant in DT Mall @Gurgaon. NC and SS had raved about it last time that they were there.

The place is ok... usual ambience... food is damn damn expensive. But we ordered anyway. They didn't even serve us water until we asked for it and even then only 3 glasses were served for 5 people. We were too sober to comment on it... then the drinks arrived (one pitcher of Long Island Tea which serves 4 people cost approx 600 bucks). Food platters cost around 400 bucks. Very acceptable (in a Gurgaon mall), you may say... but the food wasn't great. There was probably no liquor in the 2nd pitcher of Long Island Tea... it tasted like fresh lime soda. I kept wondering the reason for such high prices... ambience was ok kinds, food was not gr8, drinks were bad, music was ok....


Found the answer when I visited the loo:

Thats a TV in the loo (there was a Norah Jones song playing)...

And I thought I was crazy when I had glued cardboard smileys inside all the loos in the girls hostel (@TAPMI) as part of Episode 2006 (Team Hasmukh) promotion. The idea was to put up promos in noticeable areas.

While paying the bill:

Waiter: Would you like to join the membership? You will get 50% discount

Us: No.. no... We are here for a short time so there is no point

Waiter: We have branches in other cities too... you can avail the discount there

Us: Hahahahhahahaha... Do you have branches at Cooch Behar,Hoskote, Dhulia, Durgapur etc etc... 'coz thats where we will probably be

Me: If we join the membership, will you give us 50% off on this bill?

Waiter: Sure...

Us (grinning at our smartness): How much does the membership cost?

Waiter: 4000 bucks...

Us: (Rolling on the floor with laughter...)

Photu-shut

During my 2 months stint at home... there was only one word I was dreading: 'Shaadi'. When I saw the effort Dad had put in (he had 3 notepads full of ladko ke profiles)... I gave in. How bad can it be?
Anyway, this post is not about Shaadi and its pros/cons or even arranged vs love.

Lets get to the most difficult part for a parent trying to wed their urban daughter (who thinks she is the smartest person alive... but doesnt think is pretty enough)... Its the photoshoot.

I hate getting photos clicked... I hate my photos... There was no way I was going to be dragged to a studio (even the sound of it sucks) sit/stand like a girl, put on loads of make-up, dress up in dowdy clothes and smile at the camera. My parents (being smart people) assured me that I didn't have to do it the traditional way (anything non-traditional is fine with me)... I had the freedom to choose the clothes and the photographer...
"Yippie"; I said. I had someone in mind for the job.
AJ (refer to previous posts to know more about him) is an excellent photographer and can make Lalitha Pawar look like Madonna (reference: ppt by LS in 1st year MBA)... It was decided then no make-up, casual clothes, natural look, no editing and a gr8 photographer.

I met AJ at his house and we went click-click-click all morning. Best part was he didn't ask me to stand in a certain way or to laugh or smile... he clicked those photos during our conversation. By evening the photos were developed and I had never looked this good.
Happily, I handed them on a pen drive to my parents... but I seemed to have over-estimated their non-traditional ways... they were disappointed
(AJ if you are reading this... they did like them, just didnt think they were apt for Shaadi and stuff... just like you told me)

Since cajoling had not worked... parents resorted to trickery (parents are so smart yaar)... I was sent to my nani's house where numerous masis and one mama had gathered. Mom called them in my absence and by the time I had returned from the ice cream stall with my cousins, everything was packed and ready. Everything includes- shoes, jewellery, make-up, clothes (all sorts) borrowed from atleast 20 people in a record time of 5 mins. Before I could utter a shocked; "What the f***!!!" my masi (youngest and most enthu and the most cunning one) and I set off for the studio. You may ask: "Why did you give in?" There is one simple reason: "I can deal with Mom anyday, but I alone cannot deal with her 4 female versions and one male version".
I was impressed with the studio... it had a changing room with clothes and an in-house parlour lady to turn the ugly ducklings into swans. Thankfully, she had left by the time we arrived.
I was made to sit, stand, smile, tilt my head, hold the saree pallu (yes, yes I did wear a saree *embrassed*). The photographer even asked me to act like a girl
(I am saying it loud and clear: I am a tom-boy... take it or leave it).
Finally, we were done and I sighed with relief. But it was not over yet... Masi told everyone in the house (its a joint family) how I had done everything the photographer asked me to... that I had been making nakhras and wanted to be photographed all this time. Don't worry, she is still alive... I will seek revenge from her kids.

The Photos arrived... major editing had been done to make me look like Madhuri Dixit. Parents hated them... apparently, I looked like an amma in those gaudy clothes, make-up and jewellery. Aren't parents the best... supposrting us in the worst of photographs?

I thought finally it was over... but no... being Virgos (Perfection being their motive)... parents wanted even better photos... they seriously thought I am Madhuri Dixit and just need a good photographer... how was I supposed to explain to them otherwise (Mom, Dad thats sweet but mujhe chasme se dekho... mann ki ankhon se nahi)

We arrived at another studio. I got my clothes approved by Mom (faded jeans and kurta)... as usual, I was having a bad hair day. The photographer starts off with the usual... he even taught me how to stand like a girl... and thats when Mom realised that my jeans is faded and is looking horrible.
Approve karvao to bhi problem, nahi karvao to bhi problem.
Unwilling to admit that she was at fault, Mom blamed the photographer for bad photos. But this time parents did give up.

Moral of the story: Never be afraid to experience something new... atleast you can blog about it later

Hum 10

What happens when 10 people from different locations, B-schools with varied attitudes, prejudices etc come together???

Hmm... I am not sure either but everyday is a step towards its discovery. After 3 months of being together and apart, we all have reached a comfort zone (I'd like to believe that)

(Incase you are still wondering what I am blabbering about... we are 10 MTs working at PVM. After spending 5 days together in the same house, we were sent to different locations for 2 months... most of us have been together for the last 1 month)

Here is a little something about each of us:

MT1: If all 10 of us were comic book characters, He would have only one line (he can say it as many times as he wants to)... his conversation begins/ends, arguments are also resolved by one standard line: "Whats the plan for tonight".... As long as he is around, we will always have a plan for the night (No wonder we end up doing nothing on weekends.... he ain't around)

MT2: We were together in the South for 2 months... a pakka Bengali who loves fish 'n' football... one of the most enthu people I have ever come across... have not heard him complain even once.
(I still owe him 2 treats... don't remember the reason, though)

MT3: He has just returned from the wilderness... we both have a fondness for arguments no matter what the topic- relationships, men vs women, Indian Idol, ravanna, cricket etc etc. I am not sure if his stories are funny but his style of narration definitely makes them interesting

MT4: He is just 22 (actually, he is sooooooo 22). The (athletic) bacha of the group striving to be an "eye-candy" for women... keeps us entertained with his sarcasm.

MT5: The Mallu who didnt drink... until he met us. My 'Despo Mallu' story (when I joined TAPMI, the Mallu girls gave us gyaan about Mallu men: "Keep away from them, they can be big despos") was not well-received by him... His Mallu accent (sounds quite adorable) helps him get away with murder

MT6: The 'He-Man' with MBA in a "special" marketing course... we will remember him for his laughter of sadness (instead of tears of happiness) when he was deported to his un-preferred location.

MT7: The only HR lady among us who knows as much (maybe more) about sales as we do... when she around everyone is well-dressed, well-fed, well-taken care of and never alone

MT8: Two words brought him fame "Janu" (reserved only for the males) and "Ladke" (the word oft-used by him)... He set the record when he watched "Marigold" and found it quite ok. We couldn't test his patience with "Ram Gopal Verma ki Aag"

MT9: The survivor of the group... be it Kanpur or Patna he will have done it "all" by the end of the training.

MT10: Umm... lets not get personal now... :P

RelianceMart: A first-hand review

I must admit... Reliance has style and big bucks. The other day I visited Reliance Mart at Ahemdabad (yep, I took a mini break for dad's b'day)... Apparently the day it opened there was a footfall of around a lakh people and there were more waiting in a queue.

I braved the crowds on a Sunday evening (peak time) to check out what the hype is all about... Was I impressed!!!

• The hypermarket is huge... lot of spaces between the aisles... people didn't need to bump into each other at every step

• The sections are well-labelled... unlike 'Big Bazaar'


• Everything is stocked... and I mean "everything" (according to Mom since I was busy with the trolley)... We came across Maggi's coconut milk powder... I didn't even know something like this existed




• There are 22 cashiers and atleast 20 were functional (Mr. Biyani plz take note)




• The clothes are cheap... dirt cheap and not bad at all... I came across decent tops for 150 bucks and jeans for 200 bucks


• There is enough (make that 'ample') space between the cashiers



• There are seats where you can rest your ass/feet after the hectic shopping


• Maybe 'coz Reliance Mart has just opened there are no dispensers at the cashiers (FMCG companies take note... here lies opportunity.

• Came across this dustbin... Good creativity exhibited by Pepsi.
  
  
• 

But none of these super/hyper markets (Subhiksha, RelianceMart, Big Bazaar) come close to the convenience offered by Adani's Ravji supermarkets in Gujarat... I miss them. (They were bought over by Reliance and Reliance Fresh is operating at their locations).

Ratatouille

I have never come across a 'bad' animated movie... they are always a safe bet. Ratatouille is ok types... neither great nor bad. It is a little slow till the interval, after that the pace picks up... the story goes through twists and turns (unpredictable ones)... which are enjoyable... animation is good (as always)... humour is good.
Definitely worth a dekko (and the 200 bucks)

No aag...

I walked out 20 mins after the movie began... Need I say more???