The tables have turned

Then:

I enter the first class ladies compartment. I know I am on the correct train... but I don't want to take chances. There are 4 women in the compartment... 1 is listening to music on her celphone, another talking on her phone, 2 others are reading. I ask to nobody in particular; "Dadar?" One lady looks up "Yes". I sigh with relief and pick the seat next to the window. I know it will be atleast 30 mins before I reach Dadar... yet I watch as each station passes by. I am too afraid of missing the station to sleep or read or even listen to music.
"Excuse me, which station is next?"; I ask the lady.
"Kurla"
"And after that?"
"Sion"
"After that?"
(Slightly irritated) "Where do you want to get off?"
"Dadar"
"I am getting off there too. I will let you know when we reach there"
"Ok. Thanks"

Now:

I open my bag to remove the book. Dadar is atleast 30 mins away... ample time. Another lady enters the first class ladies compartment... "Dadar?" "Yes"; I reply. The train pulls out of the station.
"Which is the next station?"
"Kurla"; I reply
"And then?"
I look up amused; "Where do you want to get off?"
"Dadar"
"I am going to Dadar too... will let you know when we reach the station"

Talk in everlasting words and dedicate them all to me

- From 'Words' by Boyzone... My fav lines

"You are not the only tuff nut... u c"

Happy bud'day!!!

It is my flat-mate Shagu's b'day today...

The cake: Yummy Chocolate

The candles and drinks: We couldn't place them on the bed next to the cake

The Wine: All Mine

After the cake cutting and eating ceremony (N, my other flat-mate and I agreed that the cake was meant to be eaten and not wasted on Shagu's face)... Shagu sang us a song (after a lot of cajoling and pleading)... the conversation turned towards Engg days... and how we are all scared of A2's temper (Sorry, bitching about you is a common hobby of ours.. :P)... The B'day has just begun...

Condoms- impulse or planned purchase

Yes... I can see those raised eyebrows and amused looks... they take me back to MBA first year when I had written the Civic Behavior term paper on "Homosexuality".

I have noticed a new trend (if I can call it that) in the market... condoms are stocked at the cash-outs in supermarkets. Only items of impulse purchase are stocked at cash-outs...
example: candies, chewing gums, chocolates etc.

Are condoms an impulse purchase? I don't know... maybe not. Sure, sex is unplanned... but not contraceptives. Nobody goes to a supermarket, waits for the bill, remembers "Hey... I might have sex today... may need the condoms"...
Even if he does, will he purchase it in front of the other customers? I don't think so...
Condoms mean sex and sex is still a taboo in India.
I am assuming here that only men purchase condoms... 'coz I don't know any women that do... they might purchase one as a dare... but otherwise, its a man's job.
Will the customer have the opportunity to examine every variety of condom in the dispenser at the cash-out... a place which is crowded? I don't think so.
If they have to be stocked... dedicate a different section to them... an area where there is some privacy... but please do not hang a dangler which declares in bold colors "Condom section"... defeats the whole purpose.

The other day I came across condoms stocked at a pan-beedi shop. Now that is the channel to exploit... pan-beedi shops are located on every street, every corner and surrounded by males. The perfect place to stock condoms. As of yet, I have come across only one pan-beedi stall which stocks condoms... in Mumbai.

Unfortunately all the research on Purchase Behavior for condoms is directed towards the HIV risk group and none towards the normal healthy male.

On my jukebox: 'Something Stupid' (One of my fav love songs) by Frank Sinatra... I still prefer the Robbie Williams & Nicole Kidman version.

The lock and the door

A conversation with AB and Bacha at Gurgaon:

Me: Shash has been staying in a hotel for 6 months now. How depressing!!!
Bacha: We will also be living in hotels March onwards
Me: Not me... I can't live among strangers in a hotel... no way
AB: So, what will you do?
Me: I don't know... take a flat or something
AB and Bacha: But... that is so inconvenient... you have to manage cleaning, food etc. Too many responsibilities
Me: I would like that

When I was given the opportunity to share A2's friends' flat in Mumbai... I jumped at the chance... without thinking about what I was getting into.

Morning... around 8 am...
I leave the dustbin outside the front door for the garbage man to empty. 5 mins later the next door aunty (very old with grey hair) rings the bell. I am not a morning person.. "What now"... Aunty: "Leave the dustbin on the steps... not here" I wanted to say "Why do you care? The garbage man has not complained... the stairs are 5 steps away" But I controlled myself and decided to do as she said. I am not going to stay here for long... no point in creating a scene.

An hour later when I am leaving the house... the door lock malfunctions and I am locked out. "Damn.. why do these things happen only to me.. and that too in the mornings... damn damn" I keep trying to open the lock and praying for a miracle. The next door aunty (NDA) peeps from the grill of her door. "Thats what i need... the old lady bossing me around again"

NDA: What happened? Lock isn't opening?
Me: Kind of... I will manage
NDA: It had happened earlier also.. it should have been repaired then only... too late now
Me (to myself): I really don't need this right now
NDA: There is a key-maker near the bus-stop. He can fix locks also.
Me (Not wanting to take her advice): Thanks... I guess I will do that

I leave for work... hoping I can return early.

In the evening, at the key-maker's:
Me: Can you fix locks?
Him: Yes
Me: The lock at our flat has broken. Why don't you come along and fix it?
Him: Show me the key
Me (wondering if he is nuts.. giving the key, nonetheless): Here
Him (gazing at the key like it is a crystal ball): Hmm... I can fix it... I will fix the old lock itself... it will cost you 200 bucks
Me: Atleast check out the lock. What if you cannot fix it? How can quote the price without even seeing the lock?
Him: I have seen the key... that is good enough
Me: Fine... just come along and fix it

Outside the flat:

NDA comes out... another old lady from opp flat comes out and sits on the stairs... while key-maker gets to work
NDA gives me an update about all the locks that have malfunctioned... all the neighbors who have been robbed... every visit of the key-maker... etc etc. I nod my head pretending to listen... while the other old lady does not speak one word. NDA takes charge and negotiates the cost with the key-maker... asks him to repair old lock as opposed to installing a new one...
By the time the ordeal is over, I am feeling affectionate towards NDA.

Sometimes its nice to let someone else take charge and make decisions...

Just remembered a conversation I had with mom:
Me: But.. mom... joint family? C'mon... those restrictions and all... I don't think I will be able to survive in a joint family
Mom: What if your bro's wife says that to us few yrs down the line? How will you feel? How will we feel? The restrictions are not always there... and joint family has a lot of benefits... there will be people to support you and help you out always. Like when you kids and everything. They will be taken care of. Even the conservative people are changing now.
Me: Maybe you are right... but I have seen the cons of joint family... I don't want to return to a house full of politics at the end of a hard day's work
Mom: Don't base on judgment only on one example. Your masi in Mumbai is in a joint family... and all of them live together happily
Me: I guess you are right...

My experience with NDA and masi's family have made me realize that joint family is actually a good concept... I am from a nuclear family and the only other joint family I know (apart from masi) has fallen apart.
To cite an example:
Masi: Today is my marriage anniversary
Me: Wow.. congrats. Big plans?
Masi: No... your masa reluctantly agreed to take me out in the evening

I spotted them in the evening at Nirmal Lifestyle with my masa's brother's grand-child (figure that out if you can)... I was amused. They had brought this kid along so that they had something to do together.

"Thats not how I want to celebrate any of my anniversaries... ever". It was only later in the night that I recalled my parents' anniversaries. They can be brightened up with a kid around.
"Will that ever happen.. even they have grand-children? Nope... 'coz all of us will move out... but if it is a joint family, they will never be alone and lonely"

Now I better go to bed... don't want to skip b'fast tom also...

A perfect day

Sometimes in life you take a risk and a chance when it comes to people.... despite past disappointments...
And it pays off.

Thanks K.S... I had a perfect day

And I don't even believe in perfection

Lonely Hearts

I had never heard about this movie... but it was the only one playing at Sterling Theatre at a convenient hour. From reading reviews before watching movies... I have switched to reviewing them first hand while K.S has a high tolerance limit...
The movie is based on a true story about 2 psycho killers- Martha (Salma Hayek) and Ray (Jared Leto... looks just like Jim Carrey) who trap lonely widows, rob them of their money and cold-bloodedly murder them. They are being tracked by John Travolta and his homicide team.
It is worth a watch... Salma Hayek is a lunatic who is insanely in love with Jared and makes him murder the women to prove his love for her... And she is hot...

PS: Kids and delicate darlings should avoid... due to the explicit sexual content and gory bloodshed

Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal

If you have seen Chak De... Goal is a disappointing and forgettable movie. I enjoyed the first half... but the second half is full of senti rona-dhona, cliched Bollywood dialogues and predictable twists and turns.
Some ridiculous things about the movie:

• Bipasha is too hot and sexy to play the role of a college girl with a crush on John
• John should stick to looking cute (my teenage cousin was squealing in her seat throughout the movie)... he cannot act... he shouldn't even try. The funniest scene: he is trying to cry... "This is not about football.. it is about my colour".
  
• Nationality is not a piece of clothing which you can change to your convenience. When you have been born in England, how does it matter if someone calls you a Paki? I mean... why do you consider it as an insult? How can the English know the difference between a Paki and Indian... we look the same, speak the same language and have originated from the same land.
  
• The smooch was unnecessary...
  
• Football is a team game... didn't seem that way in Goal... the winning and losing depended entirely on John
• The last scene is such a drag... John pretends to die... or maybe he does die. Who knows and who the f*** cares?
• Some directors need to watch the movie "The Namesake". Every feeling does not need to be described verbally. They have to be emoted.
  

I did go shopping to shake off the irritation and disgust at Goal...

You know you don't have a life... when...

• You spend all night and early morning trying to fix your laptop... and all it needed was ctrl+F5
• You answer calls in the loo... (in my defence, it was a very imp call)
• You have not tasted liquor for 24 days (and yes, I am counting)
• No bai is ready to clean the flat even for double money
• You start spending Sat nights with your relatives
• You invite your 10 year old irritating, talkative cousin's cousin for a movie (I do not like kids)
• Your Dhobi is the guy you meet most often
• You start returning calls 11 hrs late (I am/used to be a very, very prompt person)
• You lose interest in shopping ( I am/used to be a Shopholic)
• The lock of front door breaks and you can neither stay indoors nor leave for work... 'coz the door won't close
• You have nothing to talk about on the blind date... and end up cootchy cooing to the kitten (But the kitten preferred my date and tried to scratch me... sigh)
• You tutor your colleague (who is alone in a hotel in a remote location) how to open the liquor bottle without an opener on chat (Hint: Use the door latch)
• You are trying to impress your masi (Mom's sis) and end up spilling Chocolate Shake on your fav white t-shirt (This is how it happened... the shake was very, very thick... I was concentrating hard on sucking it... squeezed the plastic glass too hard and it spilled all over my tee... I feel like the author of a dirty novel right now)

Help!!!

I give up... I have been at it for the last 6 hrs... I need help.
Here is the problem:

The images on all websites e.g Orkut, Flickr etc etc (I am using my laptop for surfing.... reliance connection) are hazy, unclear and granulated. The images on the laptop are fine... I am facing the problem in both the browsers- Mozilla and Internet explorer.
My laptop had crashed... I had to re-install everything... maybe there are drivers which have not been installed.

I have-

• Re-started the lappie
• Re-installed Mozilla and Internet explorer
• Installed plugins
• Installed Java
• Installed drivers for Intel Graphics
• Checked settings of net connection
• Checked the display for color and resolution settings

If anybody has the solution... please help.

PS: Tangy, Shash, HRS, AS... nothing worked... :(

4 years in 8 lines

"..... She loved the guy. She did it for him. She would've have done anything for him. Some women are like that. Some loves are like that. Most loves are like that, from what I can see. Your heart starts to feel like an over crowded lifeboat. You throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self-respect and independence. After a while you start throwing people out- your friends, everyone you used to know. And it's still not enough. The lifeboat is still sinking, and you know it's going to take you down with it. I have seen it happen to a lot of girls here. I think that's why I'm sick of love."

From 'Shantaram' by Gregory David Roberts

Mumbai Bhraman

Mr. Young and Restless (Y n R) and Known Stranger (K.S) have been frantically trying to get me to like Mumbai... I was given a list of places to check out this weekend.... Colaba, Gateway of India (K.S: "Do take the ferry"), Marine Drive (Y n R's fav place)...
With Pri as the perfect guide... enthu, fun, non-boring fin gal (no offence to fin people)... we headed to Dilli Darbar for lunch... followed by shopping at Crawford Market ("How come it is so damn cheap???")... and then to Gateway of India... loved the ferry ride. I wanted to stand outside Taj and wait for celebrities to turn up (had spotted Emraan Hashmi at Nirmal Lifestyle... what bad luck)... the day ended with a walk at Marine Drive and chai at the Tea House.

I want to go sailing... I want to own a boat... big dreams... sigh!!!

Wah Taj!!! (And thats Gateway of India on the right)

Pri insisted on clicking this one... apparently, Dalmations are rare to spot

A welcome relief

I have been receiveing unsympathetic murderous messages (not that murderous messages can be sympathetic)

Shash : " You now have the world record for most sim changes, congrats"

Tangy: " You should advertise for mobile phone connections"

Bro: "Aur 5-6 no bhej do"

AS: "I have saved your no as B-latest, B-latest 1, B-latest 2... etc"

I am the owner of 9 sims... Manipal, Gujarat, Gurgaon, B'glore, Chennai, Kolkata, Mumbai...

Is there any possibility of getting into Guiness Book of World Records for this???

I could use the fame... my blog ain't generating enough of it :P

Some good news:

• Finally got in touch with R... needed to unburden my frustration to someone
• Looking fwd to Sunday... have major plans of shopping and freaking out with girl-friends
• Lappie has been repaired... *Poor thing*
• An over-due chat with Honey
• No more home-sickness... I have work to do
• Catching up on my reading.. don't need to buy books anymore... have joined a library... Yippie!!!
• Lost 2 kgs without making any effort...

Sometimes its about chaging your mind... not your situation.

You know you have grown up... when...

• Every conversation with relatives/family begins and ends with the word "marriage"... *shudder*
• Kids call you "aunty" ... and do that AFTER taking the candy... *nasty devils*
• You cannot even dream of shopping on a weekday afternoon
• You pay taxes
• You start investing

And then life starts to suck...

Just realized that home is just another permanent address where I can touch base every few months *sigh*

Just a recap

Manipal: 2 yrs

• Love this place... it is divine... beautiful... serene
• I have already put up a post on Manipal so won't repeat myself
• My fav place in the whole world is my room in MIT hostel... Post-placements I would stay in all day, tuck myself in bed with teddy... watch movies online... the window on my left gave me a view of my fav place in Manipal... the window behind me faced the basket-ball court.
• Life was good then...

Gurgaon: 2 months and 1 week

• Gurgaon has 2 parts: old gurgaon and new gurgaon
• Old Gurgaon is a small town...
• New Gurgaon is "supposed" to be the happening place. All the corporate offices, malls, expensive apartments are here
• I was staying in a posh place which is surrounded by 4 malls... thats all I did on weekends... hang out at the boring and extremely expensive malls
• Once you have visited Gurgaon, you will become immune to high prices.
• Its a hilarious place too... everytime I needed a good laugh.... I visited any eatery, opened the menu... the atrocious prices never failed to amuse me
• Most of the houses have mercury lamps just like in USA... don't ask me why. Returning to a house flooded with yellow light is mighty depressing
• Gurgaon is a superficial place... there is no public transport system (things will improve once Metro is constructed)... everyone owns cars and people are filthy rich
• It is very, very unsafe... even a guy can get mugged at 9 pm... I swear. It happened to my friend's colleague.
• Delhi is just 30 mins away... but getting there is a problem. Cabs are expensive.. public transport sucks (people travelling on top of the buses is a common sight)... Delhi is the rape capital of India. The newspaper is full of crimes committed in the city.
• Delhi infrastructure is too good... roads are clean and well maintained... Metro is a dream come true for commuters

Chennai: 2 weeks

• I like this city... don't ask me why... I can't think of one good reason
• Everyone speaks Tamil...
• Autowalas are the worst in the country
• Beaches are over-crowded and dirty
• Weather is hot and humid unless its monsoon
• Food is strictly South-Indian... even the North Indian food tastes South Indian
• Don't even think of getting on a bus... it could be the most dangerous ride of your life

Trichy: one week

• I did not explore this town much
• Everyone speaks in Tamil... situation is worse than in Chennai
• It is famous for some temple... which I did not bother to visit
• All females dress in sarees or salwar kameez. I realized why... when I donned my jeans before boarding the train... the dirty looks I got from the men were enough to embarrass me

Bangalore: 5 weeks

• This is my fav place in India... When I was in engg coll, B'glore was "THE" place to be... the pub city of India
• I like it 'coz of the weather... no matter how far I had to commute... I was never tired
• Traffic is bad but I have seen worse
• Public transport system is fab... the buses are comfortable... "All women buses" ply on some routes
• One city I would love to settle in

Kolkata: 4 weeks

• First impression: Over-populated, polluted, congested etc...
• Last impression: A unique blend of the old and the new, beautiful, over-populated, polluted
• It took me time to like this city....
• The city is very, very old... the buildings are dilapidated... and the new buildings have sprung up around them
• It gets pitch dark at 6 pm...
• Life is slow... moves at its own pace... don't even try to change it... you have to slow down to "catch up" with it
• People are nice... and non-bitchy. Nobody makes your life hell
• The cab drivers are the smartest in the country... they will take you to the address through the shortest route... and they know all the addresses in town... Most of the cab drivers are Biharis
• Kolkata is famous for its "Bandhs"... you might wake up one day to a cab bandh or auto bandh or even Kolkata bandh...

Mumbai: as of yet... 13 days

• Hate this place... it is crowded, polluted, dirty and the weather is horrible... standard of living is pathetic.
• I have developed a phobia of local trains... I avoid them as much as possible
• The only good part of Mumbai is the area where I live... the flat is cute, flat-mates are god sent (Thanks A2), area is quite, peaceful, safe... with supermarkets, ATMs, cyber-cafe, gym, autos, library, wine shop, restaurants, CCD... all at walking distance
• Still have to explore the "cool" places...

Cities I want to explore: Hyderadabad.... was there for a couple of hours and liked what I saw. Jaipur.... I have a soft corner for Rajasthan since I spent 7 best yrs of my life there...

Om Shanti Om

Let me begin by apologising to Known Stranger for watching this movie DESPITE his warning.

I liked it.... Farah Khan's movies have it all.. comedy, drama, action, romance... fultoo timepass.

The first half is hilarious with spoofs on various movies... Second half has shades and colors of Karz and Karan Arjun.. but then how different can a movie on rebirth be?

Deepika is quite attractive... and she can act... but her role is minuscle.

Shahrukh is looking good... I don't know why he worked so hard for the 6 packs... he is too old for them.

My fav part is when Shahrukh pretends to be a South Indian superstar to impress Deepika. It reminded me of all the movies I have watched on Karnataka buses every morning and evening in July. There is a Telugu movie (I think it is Telugu... m not sure) which stars N.T Rama Rao (he is the Rajnikant of AP) and Sridevi... this man had applied more make-up than Sridevi and has even plucked his eyebrows...

There is another movie in which the hero is fat and ugly... the actress is slim, fair and attractive.. the hero would burn anyone who troubled women... since his brother-in-law had burnt his sister alive... in the end all the women he saved were blown up by the villain... there was a lot of violence in the movie... not one of my best journeys at 7 am to Kolar Gold Fields.

Coming back to OSO... don't expect too much... leave your brains at home... and you will like it.

Farah Khan has style... love the way she has promoted the movie... and the era of 70s has been potrayed very creatively.

Happy Diwali

Check this out

Came across this really cool blog.
http://www.typetive.com/candyblog

The writer reviews candies. Amazing stuff

This shit is actually true

My horoscope for today:

Gemini (May 22-June 21): "Your efforts are well received at this time. Intellectual disagreements or differences of opinion and viewpoints arise now. Though not a pleasurable time, this can be a fruitful period to learn more about life. This is a good time for buying, selling and negotiating property deals"
(Ahmedabad Times)

Like I said... this month is very imp... I can almost see the turn in the road... I am choosing a path and the consequence will be far reaching. It will take me farther away from everything I know... and I am excited.

Btw... doing the right thing ain't worth it... Live in the moment... don't plan... We live only once... even if I am given the choice... I would choose Nirvana over another life.

When I was in 7th std... we had asked Mrs. Nilu (at Sophia): "Mam.. if you were to come back to earth again... which roop you would like to take?"
Mam: None... I would choose Nirvana
Now I know what she meant....

Just a random thought

The above pic is unclear (Check out today's Ahmedabad Times)... let me narrate the Garfield strip... Garfield sees a cricket: "Cricket in the house"... tells the cricket "I will give you a dollar to jump into Jon's mouth"... (Jon is asleep on the chair)...

It is one of the cutest strips I have read... The cutest sight in the world is someone asleep with their mouth open. It reminds me of these people:

• Shash: We were on our way to Thiruvallur from Chennai in the local train. Since Shash wasn't well, he fell asleep .... with his mouth open. I kept smiling. And since we barely knew each other, I couldn't laugh at him then.
• Bacha: During the marketing stint, we had to visit advertising agencies in Delhi in the afternoon. Bacha usually fell asleep on the way. The day I caught him napping with his mouth open... I clicked a pic... The pic is displayed on my phone whenever he calls.
• Me: As soon as I got on the flight yesterday, I fell asleep... with my mouth open... skipped dinner... didn't even drool over the cute stewards... Killing 3 hrs at the airport was exhausting.
  
  

I am home... I am home... I am home...

Yep... home sweet home... Last night when I was on the flight, I realised how tired I am... Mumbai is hot, humid, crowded and life is fast... Life is never perfect... professionally, I am willing to slog it out but not personally. The pressure to make decisions and to move to the next stage in life is building up... I have the following options:

• Not make a decision for as long as I can... the ideal stage... but an impractical one
• Make a decision... this involves compromising everything I have worked for... impossible!!!
• Let others make a decision... I recently learned something imp: If you don't want to decide, let the other person take charge. The answer is usually negative when one person has to make an enormous decision with little/no help from the other person. Throw the ball in the other court... it will buy you time.
• Pretend to make a decision... Let everyone else think that you are genuinely interested and agreeing to everything they say... Ultimately, do what you want. A smart and cheeky option. I think I will try this one.

A much-needed break... but at the back of my mind is the work to be done in these 2 months... they will be the most imp months of this year. Wish me luck!!!

I owe you people an apology... the personal posts on the blog have been replaced with reviews of dumb movies... I am not happy about that. The reasons are many: no access to net, no time to blog... I know the people who read my blog which makes me conscious.

Sigh... the price I have to pay for fame... :P

The right thing

Me: Hey... I just did the 'right' thing... like you suggested
Bacha: Good. You should be proud of yourself
Me: If it is so good... why does it suck? I regret it already
Bacha: Don't say that. It will feel good

Why does doing the 'right' thing feel so horrible? Sigh...